This week has truly been terrifying … well technically these past 2 weeks. My mom (who isn’t a believer) called me last week to ask me some pretty hard hitting faith questions. I had to call a woman that was planning on moving to the area back to tell her about our church (being on the campus support team, you would think that wouldn’t scare me… but shocker… IT DOES!), our lead pastor asked me to join the baptism and prayer team, and I’m now leading a high school small group every week … by accident.
Can you say “called beyond comfort?” wowza!
The funny thing is, I was just talking with some of my coworkers about how inadequate I feel in ministry and that I don’t feel like I’m “pulling my weight,” on staff. You can’t tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. These past few weeks have definitely taught me that God doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called. Meaning, I have no clue what I’m doing but God does. He has called me to step out of my comfort zone and he is faithful to be with me every step of the way.
10 But Moses replied to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent—either in the past or recently or since you have been speaking to your servant—because my mouth and my tongue are sluggish.”[b]
11 The Lord said to him, “Who placed a mouth on humans? Who makes a person mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go! I will help you speak[c] and I will teach you what to say.” - Exodus 4:10-12
Let’s find the God moments in everything
Phone call with my mom
I’ve been praying for my moms salvation for a while now and for the longest time I asked God “why me, why do I have to be the one to bring her to Jesus.” I felt very unequipped and I felt the biggest weight on my shoulders (literally life or death stuff). However in this season of simplifying my faith, I've learned that it’s not me that does anything. It's the Holy Spirit working through me. Using me as a vessel. All I have to do is say “yes, LORD, wherever you lead me.” There is freedom in releasing control. And guess what … the LORD blessed it. Now, back to the phone call… y’all, I did not know the answer to all these questions (or at least how to verbalize my thoughts) however in the moment I released control and said “LORD, I don’t have the words, but you do, I’m just going to speak but it will be you that comes through.” After my word vomit I braced myself for impact, I thought she would rebuttal. However she said “Wow, Amber that made so much sense how you explained it, that helped me a lot, this conversation has been really good.” Praise God.
Bible study with Dayanah & friends
I do Bible study with my 14 year old cousin Dayanah every week, which is fine because it’s just the two of us and I can be goofy and imperfect around her. However recently she has been bringing two of her friends with her. The first week they came I shied away and told Dayanah that we could skip Bible study that week so she could hang out with her friends before church (a total cop out on my part… I was scared). She agreed yet seemed like she really wanted to do Bible study so the following week we started back again… including her friends. Fast forward to this week, we are doing a study called Worthy by The Daily Grace Co., Day 3: Adopted into God’s Family. This day was a study on earthly fathers and how they fail and fall short however God is a father that is eternal and will never fail. Sounds like a great study right … let me give you some background. My father passed away before I was born– essentially due to drugs (there’s way more to the story and maybe we will unpack that one day), Dayanah lost her dad suddenly in 2022, she was very close to him and this loss deeply hurt her. One of her friend’s dad isn’t in the picture and her other friend lost her dad suddenly as well– leading her to distrust God. Talk about feeling unequipped! While pre-reading this study and prepping materials for this study I said to God “no way, we are not doing this study.” I then began to find alternatives yet in my struggle to come up with something new I felt the Holy Spirit say “yes, you are doing this, just be vulnerable with them, share your story and see what happens.” So I did just that… and the result… an honest, scary, fruitful, vulnerable conversation and a deep dive into God’s mercy and grace. I asked Dayanah at the end of the day how it went, and she said that everyone liked it because they could say how they felt in a safe place. Praise God.
My prayer for you my friend is that you learn to say yes more to God and trust that if he has called you, he will equip you.
Be Blessed xx
