My first year was what I can only describe as the honeymoon phase. Everything felt new and exciting. I was eager, energized, and deeply aware of God’s presence in every step. Serving felt light. Community felt easy. Faith felt simple.
This past year, however, was not that.
Year two tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
I struggled with consistency, not in my love for God, but in truly making time for Him. Life became loud and full. Work demanded more of me. Church responsibilities grew. I stepped into helping start and run the content team at our Aynor campus, transitioned to serving at that campus, and somewhere in the middle of all of it, I was also back in school, making a home, chasing after a toddler and trying to steward the life God has given me well.
None of these things were bad. In fact, many of them were good. But even good things can crowd out intimacy with God if we’re not careful.
I found myself doing a lot for God while spending less intentional time with Him.
This year also opened my eyes to the harder realities of ministry, the parts no one glamorizes. I saw firsthand the damage gossip can do. I watched friendships crumble quietly. I saw people get overlooked, forgotten, and deeply hurt by the church. I witnessed wounds that weren’t always acknowledged and pain that didn’t always get resolved.
And if I’m being honest, I experienced some church hurt myself.
That was difficult to reconcile. Loving the church while being hurt by it. Serving faithfully while feeling disappointed. Wanting unity while seeing division. It forced me to confront a hard truth: ministry is holy, but it is also deeply human.
This year stripped away my idealism.
But it also refined my faith.
God met me not in the excitement, but in the endurance. Not in the constant highs, but in the moments where I had to choose obedience without emotion. I learned that faith isn’t proven when everything feels aligned — it’s proven when it doesn’t.
I learned that consistency with God isn’t about perfection or long devotional hours; it’s about returning. Again and again. Even when I feel tired. Even when I feel distracted. Even when I feel hurt.
Year two taught me that calling doesn’t exempt you from hardship — it anchors you through it.
As I reflect on this year, I don’t feel discouraged. I feel sober-minded. Grounded. More aware of my need for grace — both for myself and for others. More aware that ministry is not about image, influence, or activity, but about faithfulness when things are messy and uncomfortable.
The honeymoon may be over, but what’s growing in its place feels deeper. Stronger. More real.
And I’m trusting that God, who called me into this, will continue to sustain me — even in the seasons that don’t feel easy.
Especially in those seasons.
Be blessed xx
